Saturday, October 16th, 2010 13:49
  Rest in peace, Benoit.  
     Prove yourself in battle!
 
ATTN: Airport security, especially in the US   
Monday, August 23rd, 2010 11:58
  "Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."
- Benjamin Franklin		  
     14 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Wednesday, August 18th, 2010 12:20
  Movie idea: Conan the Libertarian.  
     1 head taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
Racist jokes   
Friday, August 6th, 2010 23:30
  A priest and a rabbi are standing at a bus stop when a bunch of children run by.

The priest says to the rabbi "Think we should screw them?"

Replies the rabbi, "Out of what?"

Hit me with your best racist jokes.		  
     1 head taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
GDI   
Thursday, July 29th, 2010 14:58
  So I've discovered today that the program that decides not only what kind of bonus I get, but whether I get a bonus or whether I even get to keep my job, can't do elementary-school arithmetic.

The mathematical error is not, of course, in my favour.

Terrific.		  
     6 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
Coup of the day   
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010 15:55
  My former employer, from before I went over to Rogers, lost their contract with Bell Canada.

What contract, do you suppose, did they pick up in its place?

Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. The taste of victory is sweeter than bacon.		  
     7 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010 12:16
  So I realize I haven't been updating LJ much lately.

Then I got a FF14 beta invite.

I think I may forget LJ even exists.		  
     12 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
out of context   
Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 17:14
  I'm Duncan MacChrist and I'm here to talk about my hemorrhoids!  
     1 head taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Thursday, May 27th, 2010 14:16
  I've been reblogged on Tumblr by a LaVeyan Satanist.

That doesn't mean I was too harsh, does it?		  
     Prove yourself in battle!
 
Conversation held at my workplace   
Wednesday, May 19th, 2010 05:47
  Co-worker: "Is it hard to be an alcoholic?"
Me: "Well, you do have to pass an entrance exam."		  
     Prove yourself in battle!
 
Movie trivia   
Thursday, May 13th, 2010 21:57
  What movie does the following exchange come from:

"Any last requests?"
"Yes--can I have the gun?"

The guy speaking the first line had a mustache and looked a bit like Gomez Addams		  
     2 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 00:43
  A win for the Americans: I know how to correctly pronounce "evolution" and "aluminum," but I choose not to.

I'll still never use the American pronunciation for lieutenant, however. It just sounds crass.		  
     18 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Saturday, May 1st, 2010 06:33
  Customer: Oh, you're working a lot of magic over there
Me: I haven't done anything yet
Customer: I think it's just magic that you're even talking to me.

Yeah. We have this technology called "telephones." We got it from Starfleet.		  
     6 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Tuesday, April 27th, 2010 07:43
  After listening to music all night, I realized that Exaile stopped scrobbling music to last.fm when I updated to Karmic.

I really hope this week's Lucid update doesn't break anything major.		  
     Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 08:29
  EoFF is doing surprisingly well at not making me feel unwelcome this time around.

Also, I have another blog for stream-of-consciousness-type shit that I don't think anyone will want to read, ever. http://citizenbleys.tumblr.com/ in case you think I'm wrong and need proof.		  
     5 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Sunday, April 11th, 2010 00:23
  A sense of humour is very important in my line of work. If I was doing job interviews, I'd always ask the classic "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" question. The first candidate to look me right in the eye and say "Your daughter is 15, right?" would be hired on the spot. And I don't even have a daughter. You think it sucks to drop your phone in the toilet...  
     Prove yourself in battle!
 
   
Saturday, April 10th, 2010 09:52
  I always realize I had an opportunity to use the word "atavistic" after it's too late.

Dammit again.		  
     Prove yourself in battle!
 
PSA regarding "3D" movies   
Sunday, April 4th, 2010 21:39
  All movies are 3D, or they wouldn't be movies. Time is a dimension. Any moving image projected onto a two-dimensional surface is three dimensional due to the fact that it changes over time.

Movies that you need special glasses for, on the other hand, are simulated 4D.		  
     4 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
Poll: Angry Actors   
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010 00:39
  Poll: What actor, in your opinion, conveys anger the best?

I've got two, for two different kind of actors. I like Avery Brooks (Captain Sisko, DS9) for the slow-burning, time-bombey sort of anger where every word is a sentence by itself. (Step. The. Fuck. Back. Or I will fuck you up). In terms of explosive anger (calm one minute, ranting the next), nobody tops Joe Pesci. I could see Pesci screaming "What the fuck do you mean you don't like Pauly Shore?" two seconds after calmly sipping tea in a Buddhist rock garden.		  
     7 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
Misheard song lyrics   
Monday, March 29th, 2010 08:20
  Misheard me some good song lyrics last night, and I'd actually be interested to hear the whole song sober -- problem is, I don't know what the song is. Here are the misheard lyrics:


Every time we touch, I feel Stalin
Every time we kiss, I swear I'm a guy
Can't you hear Tom Hart? He's short
Retry, fail, abort?
Want you in my eye

The second line is more amusing if you know the song has a female vocalist.

I imagine it's far less amusing in its real form.		  
     9 heads taken - Prove yourself in battle!
 
 
citizenbleys
 
 
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